Just so we are clear…I don’t do New Year resolutions. Generally, because I rarely mean them. I find resolving to be better/faster/smarter/less idealistic/more optimistic/more focused/less distracted etc etc, a form of self-deceit. I know I’m lying to myself and I assume the powers of the universe realise that as well. In the absence of declarations of self-improvement what does one do on the 31st of December?
Usually, I go to bed at about 11. Can’t ever make it to midnight. Go to sleep for five minutes and awake when some joy enthralled neighbour creates their own fireworks display often in ten-minute intervals so that the whole thing goes for an hour. The accompanying whoops of joy for the highly anticipated rebirth that comes with a new year make me smile, despite keeping me awake. Poor deluded things all promising themselves to drink less, have a healthy diet and give up some vice or another to ensure their best version will emerge in the dawn of a new year. People you are simply setting yourselves up for disappointment.
Not that I’m against self-improvement and goal setting. Go for it. Make the plan and do it. And here is the sticking point. The do it bit. Because in the cold light of the morning after the celebration the resolutions have already been tarnished or seen for what they are…unreachable. Dear ones, you are not going to lose all the kilos in the first month of the year. You will walk the extra kilometre to work until it rains, snows, or in Australia you are brutalised by a 38-degree day. You will give up coffee, wine, whinging, time-wasting, Netflix binges, call screening to avoid that family member and sugar until the next time you don’t. Afterall some of those mornings require caffeine and let’s face it sometimes cake just calls our name. And some people will try your patience and ignoring them is better than hurting them.
So why do we make these decrees? Let me first say that I’m not a pessimist, I’m not against the whole process of elevating ourselves to be better humans. What I am against is the notion that most of these promises are born of our dissatisfaction with who we are. The pledges we make are about what we are not and never about who we could be. The lose ten kilos and go to the gym every day is rarely about winning the longevity lottery. Often it’s because of some preconceived and media ratified nonsense about beauty. Lose weight because it’s a medical priority. Exercise because it makes you feel good about highlighting your health. Not because you think you must be a particular size to be worthy or attractive. The resolutions are too much about the individual not about what can be done for others. As for the other sacrifices re wine and biscuits, may your conscience guide you.
Perhaps a better New Year’s strategy would be to write or speak out loud a list of things you might like to do for others or the planet or your own skill development. For example, my list would include the following: Plant a few more trees in my yard and avoid killing them, propagate a few exotic plants from seeds and avoid killing them too. Attempt to knit once more with more success than the previous year’s efforts and donate the fruit of my labour. Visit my friends and family more regularly, it’s easy to get bogged down in the comfort of life at home. Read at least two books a month and include re-reading a few classics and non-fiction (possibly about growing a garden with less attrition). Support local and emerging writers by buying their books (a tiny hint here people) and then writing a review and sharing on your socials. And perhaps more importantly trying to be kind to all, even the very annoying and seemingly rude. After all who knows what each person is carrying and if we can avoid adding to that load then we should. A little kindness can go a long way.
Lastly, on our list should be gratitude. Or surely this should be first. If you are healthy and not troubled by illness, be grateful for that even if the belly is too big and the hips too wide and the wrinkles seem deeper and the hair a little greyer. If you have a home, even with its perceived imperfections, it is a place of safety and comfort so be thankful. Australia is for all its complications a safe, calm and optimistic place in which to live. Be appreciative that we are not in a war zone or ruled by a dictator or having our country commandeered by a foreign leader who may or may not be unhinged.
It is very easy to feel overwhelmed by the chaos in the world, so I understand it is easier to make resolutions about our personal virtues and vices. We are, however, in danger of being hardened by the troubles across the globe. The constant reporting about the ills in the world has the potential to desensitise us to the plight of others. But a better new year promise would to be become softer and walk more gently, see others as vulnerable and in need of kindness not condemnation. It is a greater gift to the self and the planet.
2025 has well and truly commenced and many of our resolutions have possibly been abandoned but there’s always tomorrow to give your new paradigm for better living a go. There’s always another day.
Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.’
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Thank you for your new year reflection😇🕯️🦘